More on Life

So I realize this piggy backs right off of my last one, but I thought it needed to be said.
I checked my phone when I got back up to my room and saw a friend had called. I had, of course, not heard it seeing my phone was on vibrate and i was downstairs. It was one of the friends from the last post. He said he was thinking of me and missed me. Well, does he not think of me more than once every, oh, three weeks? Because I think of him a lot more than that. It really hurts me when I get those calls.
I get tired of trying so hard and basically getting nothing in return. I feel like a horrible person for, basically, giving up. But it has come to the point where I'm getting hurt because I try and get nothing. I haven't talked to my best friend since New Years. I haven't talked to him since before that. Another friend I talk to sporadically... and it's for about 5 minutes online, but it's better than nothing. Plus she checks on me to make sure I'm okay. Does this make me a bad person, though? I really feel like one....

On another note, I got to spend time with three of my favourite sisters last night. We went out to dinner and then were supposed to go out to TDX...that however didn't happen. One is now a cripple for all intensive purposes and she wasn't allowed out, so we stayed and watched movies. I'm really glad now that I didn't go out. I ended up feeling like crap and just hurting all over. Not a fun time. So I went to bed and slept for oh, tenish hours. Just what I needed. It really did recharge me physically and emotionally. Especailly after I broke down in the middle of Yankee Candle. o.O I saw I black kitty ornament with a halo and wings and literally started crying right there. But I'm okay now.

I do however miss home a lot right now. I don't really know why... Maybe because my Daddy told me he missed me. He doesn't ever do that. It's amazing what little things like that can do.

Okay. Neurobio and Plants are calling my name. I must go.
Enjoy the day and live it up to all it is worth.
<3

Really now?

So, I thought I would put this to the test... Well, more like putting my self to the test. I want to try to put my thoughts down on the computer so I can really see what is going on upstairs.

First off, my friends. This, however, does not include my sisters at all. I'm talking about my friends from back home. The ones that don't actually bother to contact me at all. I seem to be the only one putting any effort into any of the friendships. That absolutely kills me. I didn't talk to my best friend for close to 3 weeks. I just got tired of it. She is quite capable of calling me, or sending me a text message. I don't have to be the only one.
Another friend is the same way. I send him a text often, usually at night, but also through out the day. Why am I the only one that seems to bother to care? The three of us were inseparable, but things changed so much and it kills me. (Also, don't forget who your boyfriend is, dear friend. I don't want to have to witness you being disgusting with someone other than your boyfriend.)

Another friend, one that i hadn't talked to since I graduated, also is in this boat. Why am I the one sending messages? You could send me one every now and then. Especially after what you revealed to me. I mean, really? If you wanted it to ever go anywhere, making an effort is necessary. You are epic failing if you want it to. In fact, you lose points a lot.

Okay. That is what I needed to say right now. I'll do more, hopefully, tomorrow.
I hope you sleep well and enjoy your day.

<3